Tim Sylvia is Moving to Crystal Lake

By E. Spencer Kyte (

With the boom of Mixed Martial Arts into the mainstream, fighters are getting all kinds of crossover opportunities.

Georges St-Pierre is starring in Gatorade ads both in print and on television, as well as serving of the face of UFC Undisputed in Canada. Forrest Griffin was on the cover as well, and had a book on the New York Times best-seller list.

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has been rumored to be filling the role of B.A. Baracus in the upcoming A-Team remake. Even though it wasn’t true, just the fact that he was being considered makes a statement.

Randy Couture is coming soon to a theater near you as one of The Expendables, and Chuck Liddell’s Dancing with the Stars.

Recognized and respected fighters get quality opportunities and exposure, but what if you’re a fallen star on a three-fight losing streak who was last seen getting dropped in 10 seconds by a former boxer?

For former UFC champion Tim Sylvia, its landed him behind the iconic hockey mask of horror film legend Jason Voorhees in the next installment of the Friday the 13th series. [Editor’s note: Sylvia is standing-in as Michael Myers, not Jason Voorhees.]

Honestly, there is no fighter more suited to playing this role than Sylvia, as his fighting style is eerily similar to the tactics the machete-wielding monster who has terrorized Crystal Lake for nearly 30 years.

Voorhees is slow, plodding and despite having success early on, always ends up getting bested in entertaining, yet predictable fashion. If asked what fighter that best described, Tim Sylvia would be the #1 answer without question.

That describes his fight with Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira to a tee!

Just over a year ago, Sylvia was a consensus Top 10 heavyweight and making big bucks to stand opposite the greatest heavyweight in the world on Affliction’s debut show.

Fourteen months later, his last two fights have lasted 47 seconds… combined, and the best offer he’s getting is to be completely unrecognizable, delivering such memorable lines as “Grrrrrrr!” and “Arrrrgh!” while trying to chop bikini-clad campers and their horny boyfriends in half.

At least the former champ will have something to fall back on when he loses his fourth straight fight later this month at Adrenaline MMA IV to heavy-handed Jason Riley.

That thud you heard?

That was Tim Sylvia’s career officially hitting rock bottom.

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