Aug
20
2010
0

WEC 50: Money Shots

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Here’s the payroll breakdowns for WEC 50 which earned a live gate of $275,340 via a 1,861 attendees at The Pearl at the Palms, Las Vegas, NV.

Dominick Cruz vs. Joseph Benavidez: Dominick Cruz earned $22,000 for winning via Split Decision. Dominick Cruz was suspended 180 days or until cleared by negative X-ray due to potential fracture of right hand. Benavidez earned $17,500 for coming in as a “totally different fighter” then losing in the exact same way he did their first fight. Luckily for Benavidez, he can always fall back on his main career as the president of the Mexican chapter of the Lollipop Guild. Joseph Benavidez was suspended 45 days with no contact for 30 days for precautionary reasons.

Shane Roller vs. Anthony Pettis: Anthony Pettis earned $12,000 for subbing Roller via triangle with only 0:09 left in round 3. Anthony Pettis was suspended 30 days with no contact for 21 days for precautionary reasons. Shane Roller earned $16,000 for winning a “Who can look the most like an illegitimate baby made by Luke Thomas and Chris Lytle” contest. Shane Roller was suspended 180 days or until cleared by negative X-ray due to potential left knee injury. Pettis in on his way to proving that Capoeira style kicks aren’t totally retarded and useless. Roller is on his way to a Capoeira class.

Cub Swanson vs. Chad Mendes: Chad Mendes earned $11,000 for winning via Unanimous Decision. Also for proving that, what MMA needs now is another great wrestler, like I need an asshole on my forehead. Cub Swanson earned $11,000 for once again fullfilling his role as WEC’s fall man for their rising prospects.

Scott Jorgensen vs. Brad Pickett: Scott Jorgensen earned $25,000 for looking like a pair of acid washed jeans, and winning via Unanimous Decision. Scott Jorgensen was suspended 180 days or until cleared by negative X-ray due to potential fracture of left hand; also suspended 30 days with no contact for 21 days for precautionary reasons. Brad Pickett earned $7,000 for creating a situation we’ve never seen before in MMA, a pasty British striker spending half the fight on his back (WAA WAa waa). Brad Pickett was suspended 30 days with no contact for 21 days for precautionary reasons. I’m pretty sure by looking at old pictures of Jorgensen that his skin thing is getting worse. He is in fact slowly morphing into a white dude.

Bart Palaszewski vs. Zach Micklewright: Bart Palaszewski earned $16,000 for having a stupid lobsided homohawk, and TKO’ing Zach at 4:29 left of round 2. Bart Palaszewski was suspended 180 days or until cleared by negative X-ray due to potential fracture of right hand. Zach Micklewright earned $3,000 for getting beat up by a ginger. Zach Micklewright was suspended 45 days with no contact for 30 days for precautionary reasons. The whole fight is a schoolyard brawl, which neither guy was really winning, until Bart “I let a kid with Downs cut my hair” Palszewski started finding his rhythm. Also, his hair is stupid.

Javier Vazquez vs. Mackens Semerzier: Javier Vazquez earned $16,000 for using his superior grappling to control Mackens, and sub him via RNC with 3:24 left in round 2. Mackens Semerzier earned $4,000. Fighting a good jits guy is like trying to take off a wet t-shirt that’s 3 sizes too small. If you were to photo shop Javier out of that fight video, and add a wet Hooters t, it would just be a funny video of Mack wrestling with it, and eventually having it wrap around his neck and tapping him.

Maciej Jewtuszko vs. Anthony Njokuani: Ma… maj… cej….. Je… jewtuz… f*ck it. THE POLISH GUY earned $6,000 for winning via TKO with 3:23 remaining in round 1, thereby f*cking up the plans of the WEC to grow their prospect. Njokuani earned $7,000. Anthony Njokuani was suspended 45 days with no contact for 30 days for precautionary reasons.

Ricardo Lamas vs. Dave Jansen: Ricardo Lamas earned $14,000 for winning via unanimous decision despite the fight being VERY close. Dave Jansen earned $4,000.

Fredson Paixao vs. Bryan Caraway: Fredson Paixao earned $6,000 for winning a close split decision. Bryan Caraway earned $4,000.

Danny Castillo vs. Dustin Poirier: Danny Castillo earned $19,000 for winning via unanimous decision. Danny Castillo was suspended 180 days or until cleared by negative X-ray due to potential fracture of left hand; also suspended 30 days with no contact for 21 days for precautionary reasons. Dustin Poirier earned $3,000 for doing what most ppl do when they fight wrestlers, won every aspect of the fight, but did most of it from his back. Despite being an unknown, Poirier was able to out strike Castillo on the feet, which casued Castillio to go to lay & pray mode. Poirier then was able to slap on 2 different triangles in 2 different rounds, but was unable to finish.

BONUSES:

Each of these fighters took home an extra $10k on top of their normal fight pay. That’s a Cruise for 2 to the Bahamas, or 2 minutes in an American emergency room.

Fight of the Night: Went to Scott Jorgenen and Brad Pickett for their beautiful brawl. Jorgensen will use his $10k on his next training camp. Pickett already used his $10k going to multiple doctors because he wanted to be assured that Jorgensens “icky skin thingy” isn’t contagious. Man is Pickett a d**k.

Knockout of the Night: Went to Jewtzusko for his clubbing of Njokuani. He apparently had not heard the joke about how you stop a Polish tank. Answer: Get a large black man to kick it in the head.

Submission of the Night: Went to Anthony Pettis for his beautiful penis to face choke over Shane Roller in the very last seconds of their fight. Pettis was on his way to winning a decision anyways, so choking him out just added a cherry on the a**-sundae he’d been feeding to Roller.

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